Past Relationships: Rewriting Our Stories

Posted by Joanna Rubini on

We all have challenges in life- that is what we are here to do: learn grow fail grow lose grow, but sometimes, the lessons we are gifted in life get translated into limitations rather than opportunities for growth. simply based on our skill with perspective and perception.

The victimized ex spouse story. These days, we all know someone who is divorced, and usually there is a good guy and a bad guy in the tale. The 'good' person was victimized by the ex spouse either financially, verbally, physically, or some combination thereof. The inner child work that needs to be done by the victim is usually learning self love, understanding how s/he came to be victimized in the first place to gain understanding and then hopefully forgiveness, at the very least, of him/her self, to then be able to move on into a brighter lighter future. What lingers, though, is a tiny little shitty blip in our history. "I was a victim, I am better now and have moved on, but in my past I was a victim because I did not love myself enough to avoid that experience." I'm not suggesting that we erase our past, that might be impossible without brain surgery. But we can reframe it. What if instead we own our power, that although we entered into the failed relationship unconsciously guided by our lack of self love, worth, or value, we actually were subconsciously choosing the best way possible to achieve maximum personal and spiritual growth in a way best suited for us as unique human beings incarnated on earth? Sure it was tough to get through, to go through, but wow! We chose that way, we chose that experience. "Dear ex,-spouse, I'm not sure if I can forgive you for being awful,(at least not yet- but I'm open to it), but number 1: I absolutely forgive myself. Number 2, I applaud myself for choosing such a challenging situation to help me grow so strong. Number 3 I thank myself for the compliment of having the self belief in my ability to survive and persevere to choose, albeit subconsciously, such a challenge. Thanks for fulfilling your purpose so well!" 

In other words, we sometimes choose the hard way, but it is always for our greater good, no matter what. Either the way is rosy or the way is challenging and we learn and grow from it.

If we can do just this one thing for ourselves, it's taking back our self power!

(strong arm emoji)


With love,


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