Arriving at Healed

We are not all seekers, but if you are reading this, you are at least curious about our existence. Seeker: one that looks deeper inside, deeper outside, of self, for meaning, understanding and ultimately, ascension to some holy state of existence. I keep looking, reading, studying, so that I finally, FINALLY, get it! I read a passage the other day from Anthony De Mello...to the effect of "you have arrived, you are here, you are perfect. The holy state you seek is now."  WHAT?  Where are the fire works, the visions, the hidden coming out to the apparent? That's it?!  Now I admit that this is certainly a message I've heard before, that we need not accomplish anything, that we need only exist, but in my competitive over-achieving programmed human brain, that sentiment has always felt like a let down. I want angels to sing when I understand the meaning of life! 

Maybe I've just gotten more patient over time, because now, the idea that our purpose is to simply exist and observe, seems infinitely logical, peaceful and loving. I am soooo imperfect and unique, and all I need accomplish in my lifetime, is awareness of myself. No need for hours of meditation or following a strict diet, no fingertip pushups or self-flagellation. To be holy, we need to follow our whims and very simply observe ourselves in the process. That boils down to the fact that sometimes we are afraid, immature, triggered, defensive, spoiled, righteous, indignant, jealous, possessive, insecure...and thus, ashamed, fearful, withdrawn, guilty. Bless us!  Look at how wonderful we are, both when we are magnanimous confident and generous, and when we are the opposite. In our minds, if we can greet and embrace all that we think we feel, we begin to 1) recognize our stories 2) and hopefully eventually identify from whence they came, and thereby 3) empower ourselves to react in ways that might feel different and better? stronger? braver? than the well trodden behavior pathways that we have adopted from childhood for purposes of survival. We are not broken and never have been, we are here to feel, and if we can just feel and accept that we feel (both the easy and the uncomfortable), then our bodies have no need to store experiences and feelings for expression later. And if our bodies don't have to store our unexpressed, unrealized emotions, which are a form of energy, then we literally feel lighter, freer, more flexible, more balanced, more peaceful.  Yes: more better!!

With Love <3 <3

-Joanna