Loss of a Pet
Posted by Joanna Rubini on
Loss of pet: My descent into poor health started awakening me to our innate ability to restore ourselves to perfect health and wellness, but it was the loss of our 2 dogs that sent me over the cliff edge into such despair that only prayer and faith bolstered me. I'm not by practice a 'religious' person, per se, but I am spiritual.
What that means is, I don't want to believe I'll go to hell or that I will be judged by a cruel god as a sinful bad human. I want to believe we are all equal and that although we are not perfect, we are all as we were made and all of us equally forgivable and lovable. What I learned during the time after losing our second dog is that
1) I thought I was missing the pups, but really what I was thinking of was the sadness I felt before they died, the grief I felt watching them age and suffer. Except they never appeared to be crying or suffering the way I know it. So if they were not actually suffering, what was the suffering I was experiencing? My own solitary suffering. I was imagining them gone and the loneliness I would feel.Except I was not alone watching them in their sickness, I was with my boyfriend at the time. So why was I lonely? Because quite plainly, I was not supporting him and thus he was not supporting me. We were together through the demise of our 2 dogs, but we tiptoed around the subject of sadness and loss. Another word for this is: at least I just stuffed down my emotions. I wanted his love and support, but I didn't give him what I needed and I didn't give myself what i needed. All I could do was suffer and cry and zoom ahead into the future where I was lonely and the dogs were dead. I feel sad for me putting myself through that. Had I been able to stay present, I would have seen: 2 sweet dogs doing their best to keep their earthly bodies functioning, and 2 sweet sad humans who could have loved and supported each other better. And then I would have had access to more joy at the wonder of all of that.
2) If I stay present, there is no sadness. If I stay in the right here, right now, then I won't miss my dogs because they are not here in front of me in the physical form. And even when they were alive in their furry bodies, when I was away from them physically for a few hours, I didn't mourn them or miss them because I did not go time travelling into the future to when their bodies would be dust. But the only way to stay present when we are so habituated to find something to *cause us sadness *distract us from the now *to continue our quest for suffering...is, at least for me, understand me better. The better I recognize my patterns, discover any erred programming that does not serve me, and rewrite my story, the better I can show up for myself and support me through the grief of losing a pet.
3) Sometimes pets (and maybe sometimes children too) give dysfunctional relationships function. They give a common bond to the 2 humans involved. They give their humans purpose and vital roles. They distract their paired humans from actually looking at their relationship with one another, and disguise any shame that is subconsciously generated about this 'black hole' with needs for walks and meals, etc. I'm almost temped to say that our second dog passed not so much because he was ill, but because it was his last effort to save his human parents' relationship, by departing. So I learned after number 2 dog died in a very short time span after our first one had passed, that there was another human in the house living with me. One with as much desire for love and care and comfort and more love, as our dogs. Why had I withheld this for years while being a doggy mommy? I think I probably did not love myself enough to foster a generous fountain of love to share, and because I gave most to the dogs, with little to none left for me, and I had hoped he'd jump on board and save the sinking ship that I felt like. I didn't grasp vibration then or I'd have filled me up with crazy love, then worked on loving my family fully.
4) We all need love. We need love starting first from ourselves. If we can unconditionally love ourselves, then giving to our pets and especially giving, loving, and supporting our family and partners, is easier and has fewer rules and regulations. And if you go through the loss of a pet or friend or family member, with loving unconditional support from yourself thereby attracting it all around you, then you will grieve freely and feel better faster with no guilt or remorse, with only peace and joy to be so surrounded and supported by love and knowing that your pets or whoever has passed on, is free of the heaviness in their earthly bodies.
#lossofpet #howtohealafterpetloss #petsandrelationships #rubiniwellness
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